I always get these genius ideas in my head.  Sometimes they get lost in the shuffle (there's a lot going on up in there, you know) until someone else has the audacity to have the same idea and then, even more audaciously, to act on it.

Other than breakfast in bed, I am not one to take things lying down, so I came up with a solution.  The solution does not involve me turning my ideas into reality in the traditional sense.  No, that would be A) too obvious and B) much too much work.  My solution is to sell my ideas on ebay.

Genius.

You're probably thinking, "Um, Marisa, if you post your idea on ebay, no one is going to buy it because it's already, like, uh, there for the taking."  So thank you, Lieutenant Obvious (Captain Obvious was too cliché for this blog), but I have that covered:  I am not going to say what the idea is, exactly.  Instead, I will sell "Mystery Ideas" that promise to bring mega millions to the right go-getter.

I've already put one idea up for auction on ebay:

GENIUS MYSTERY IDEA $$$$$$$$$$

I have a genius money making idea but I am too busy to carry it out. The right entrepreneur can take this idea and run wild with it. I don't see why you wouldn't make millions, if not billions.

Pay no shipping and handling! No shipping fees. I will ship the idea from my brain to your e-mail inbox for absolutely no shipping and handling charges.

This item also comes with a 2 year warranty: If you forget the idea within the next two years, just e-mail me and I will remind you what it was.

The bidding starts at $0.50 but I see this really taking off.  I put a bunch of dollar signs in the heading to attract entrepreneurs.  I also threw in free shipping and handling, as well as a 2 year warranty, because these are the sorts of things potential customers really respond to.  If someone else is out there selling ideas, I need to have a competitive edge over them.  Taking care of my customers is what I am all about.
I am pretty pumped.  No longer will I have to agonize that all these good ideas are going to waste -- or being re-thought up by other people who don't cut me a small but reasonable share for thinking of the idea first.

One of the most heartbreaking incidents of this kind was the emergence of the Kindle.  As soon as I heard about it a few years back, my heart sank, because I had a really strong feeling that I was very close to thinking up a similar idea myself.  After all, I love to read and I hate the hand cramps you get from holding a book open.  I also hate the crusty boogers that drop out of a turned page of a library book.  Seriously, I don't know what possesses people to put their boogers in library books.  It's rude.  Get a tissue.  Or eat it, I don't care, at least you're not hurting other people.  Well, unless you're kissing them shortly after.

Anyway, my days of being outsmarted are over.  Maybe other people will join in.  I hear it from people all the time: "I have this great idea; I just don't know how to make it a reality."  Well, thanks to me, now you do. 

My mom is one of these people, but I think she thinks her ideas are a little more "ahead of the times" than they really are. For years, she's been talking about this killer idea for a basement storage device that sits up off the ground in case of a flood.  We tried to tell her about this thing called a pallet that's been around since the 1800s, but she insists it's not the same.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, has a truly genius idea, which I actually scoffed at when I first heard it.  It was so simple yet so awesome that I figured it had to be out there already.  However, as of two seconds ago, per the trusty Google search, I have confirmed that it is not out there.

And then there's poor Al Gore, who invented the internet in his mind long before sloppy seconds snatchers like computer scientists Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn re-thought it up and performed the bulk of the grunt work.  I really feel for Al when people scoff at his claim, but you know what I say to those of you who make fun of Al Gore?  I say, tread softly, people.  Because Al Gore invented the internet and, damn it, Al Gore can take it away!